Often after a child abuser has been revealed, those closest to the situation will recall feeling that something was wrong, without knowing how to address it or what to say. Abusers count on this feeling of confusion and reticence to cover their tracks. Instead of remaining silent, parents should learn to question the behavior that produces these feelings. Some questionable behaviors, according to a booklet on child sexual abuse produced by the organization STOP IT NOW!©, include when an adult or older child:
• Insists on hugging, touching, kissing, tickling, wrestling with or holding a child even when the child does not want this affection.
• Is overly interested in the sexuality of a particular child or teen (for example, talks repeatedly about the child’s developing body).
• Insists on time alone with a child with no interruptions.
• Spends most of his or her spare time with children and has little interest in spending time with someone of his or her own age.
• Regularly offers to baby-sit children for free or takes children on overnight outings alone.
• Buys children expensive gifts or gives them money for no apparent reason.
• Frequently walks in on children or teens in the bathroom.
Trust your instincts. If questioning these behaviors does not produce change, or if the answers do not seem acceptable, remove your children from contact with that person.